Wouldn't It Be Good
by RainbowDiamonds
Summary: Social media star James Diamond is at the end of his rope and just wants to be normal like All-American athlete Kendall Knight. Kendall would give anything for another life. One careless wish later, they get a unique opportunity to trade places and find that the grass really isn't always greener on the other side. Kendall/James AU.
1. Chapter 1

A/N—Reminder that I don't own these characters and that all credit goes to the creators of "Big Time Rush."

So here's the new story, which I've been working on for about a month and struggling with. As usual, I'm posting the first chapter early to get some feedback and motivation. This chapter is basically background and setting up of the characters, so not all that exciting, but please let me know your thoughts! I probably won't post more of this story until after the final chapter of "Magic" is up.

The title is based off an old song by Nik Kershaw of the same name. I actually got the idea watching an episode of "Jimmy Neutron" (go ahead and laugh, but that show cracks me up) and wondered how that might play out between James and Kendall. Then the song came on at work the next day and it felt like a sign, because the lyrics are EXACTLY what James and Kendall are feeling. The theme of this story isn't original at all, but I thought it would be fun to do with these characters. So...hope you like it! And I thank you so much for reading. :)

Oh, one more thing! For now, the rating is T. I don't think it'll go past that, but since I'm still in the process of writing, anything can happen. So that might change down the road, just a warning in advance.

* * *

His phone rang, surprising him not at all. This made call number five over the past two hours, and James wanted to scream. Instead he closed his eyes and counted to ten, something his new "therapist" had suggested when life got to be too much.

Which...was all the time lately.

He blocked out the sound of the noisy high school cafeteria, focusing on a light he imagined straight ahead. The woman had suggested he pick a color for that light, and today it was pink. Originally it had been red, but Shauna said red was an "angry" color and he needed to fill his aura with something more soothing.

Pink was a good compromise; still close to angry red, but pastel enough to be sort of soothing, right?

By the time his mental count reached ten, the phone in his pocket had stopped ringing. James took a slow, deep breath (one more suggestion by the well-meaning Dr. Shauna) and opened his eyes.

Nothing had changed. Tables full of boisterous students still surrounded him. The aromas of both hot and cold lunches permeated the air. He was still seated alone and grateful for that because it felt like lately everyone wanted to be his friend.

He knew that if he didn't return the calls, his mother would just try again in two minutes. She had his schedule memorized.

Might as well eat and talk at the same time; lunch period went by fast.

James unzipped an insulated lunch sack that bore the logo of yet another company his mother wanted him to partner with. He didn't really care what the outside looked like as long as it kept his fruits and vegetables cold.

He tried to ignore the tempting scent of meat that floated his way. From the smell of it, today was corn dog day. God, James missed corn dogs. He missed beef. Chicken. Even fish sticks. Maybe he could sneak a bite off his buddy Carlos and no one would notice.

_No. With your luck, someone would be filming you and then you'd catch hell for losing the vegans. Mom would kill you_.

Or at least threaten it. After pulling out a sealed baggie of celery sticks and carrots, James opened it and shoved a carrot piece into his mouth.

Nope, not even close to the taste of a corn dog.

Might as well get this over this. She answered his call immediately. "What is wrong with you?! I've called five times!"

"Mom, I can't answer in class. You know that."

"I made sure to call between classes! _And_ when you first went to lunch! Why didn't you answer?"

_Because I'm tired. I'm just so...tired. _ "I didn't hear. It's noisy in the halls. I'm in the cafeteria now, what did you need?"

"What are you eating?"

"The lunch you packed me. What else would I be eating?"

"I saw that it's corn dog day at your school. Listen, James, I know that's one of your favorites, but you have to stay strong. You can't risk losing the vegan people."

"Yes, Mom, I know," he droned. "I promise, I'm not touching anything that doesn't grow in nature."

"Okay, good. People are always watching, you know. You have to stay vigilant."

"I'm aware." The celery stick he crunched next was even less satisfying than the carrot had been.

"I put almonds in your salad today. That should add flavor."

James peeked into his lunch sack again and pulled out a plastic container of greens. It still sounded unappetizing. "Thanks. Was that all? I need time to eat."

"No, that is not all! You have a meeting with DermaPerf after school. I'll pick you up."

Derma _what?_ Who came up with these names? "I have an audition after school. For the winter play. I've been telling you about it for two weeks."

"I didn't forget, but that's not important. DermaPerf really wants you to be their young face. They're offering a lot of money, James. If you partner with them, it could break you into the skin care industry."

"Mom..." James tried not to groan too loudly. "I really want to do this play. You said it was okay."

"I said we'd talk about it. A high school play isn't going to get you anywhere in life."

"Yes, it is! I need the experience and it'll look good when I'm applying to the theater program."

"I told you, forget about the program. Nobody goes to school these days, baby. You just have to be famous online. You don't need actual skills."

He tried the closing-his-eyes thing again, but it didn't work this time; the light stayed red.

"James! Are you listening to me?"

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"Nonsense. You have a pretty face and it's opening all kinds of doors for you. I'll pick you up after school for your appointment with DermaPerf. They're going to give you a complete facial and we'll film the whole thing so you can share it with your viewers next week. That's part of the deal, you have to talk them up. After DermaPerf, you're meeting with Dr. Shauna for an hour. She was just on that new talk show, so we want to make sure everyone knows you're affiliated with her."

"I just met with her Tuesday."

"We're filming this session, it's special. You can squeeze parts of that into your next video, maybe before you talk about DermaPerf."

"Wait, so you're telling me my session with my psychiatrist is going to be seen by the world? Mom, no. Absolutely not."

"We've already agreed to it."

"I didn't!"

"You're a minor. It's my job to do business for you. After Dr. Shauna, we're going to try that new plant-based restaurant that just opened. I promised them you'd give a good review on your show, and you know plant-based foods are all the rage right now. You have to stick with what's popular. Oh, that reminds me! I booked you for a week in Zambia next month."

"In...where?"

"Zambia. It's a country in Africa, you're doing volunteer work to help the poor. Everyone's doing it right now, it'll boost your popularity and your image all at once!"

"I'm...what? I'm going to Africa?"

"Darling, it'll be fun! Consider it a new experience."

"Mom..." James deflated, wondering if his mother had lost her mind. "I mean...I'm all for helping the poor, but...Africa? I have school. I can't miss more school, I've already been gone two weeks this year and it's only November!"

"Baby, school can be done anywhere. I know you've been hesitant to do it, but I really think we need to look at independent study. That way you can do school on the road, just think of how much more you could do with the show! We could take it on location, build up your fans all over the world!"

Air was becoming harder to find. He sucked in a deep breath, but it wasn't doing much good because his chest still felt tight. "I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to stay here and be a normal kid."

"James Diamond, nothing about you is normal. We've known that since the first time you opened your mouth to sing in second grade. All of the plays, the musicals, the choirs, they've all led you to this! This is your destiny! You're meant to see the world, to be appreciated and loved by everyone."

"I just want to be in the school play. I don't need anything else."

"You're nervous, and I understand that. You're afraid you'll fail."

"No, Mom, I—"

"It's okay to be nervous, but you can't let that hold you back. How's your salad?"

In a daze, James stared down at the container he had yet to open.

"James? Talk to me."

"It's...fine."

"I sliced up some apples for you to put in it, too. Let me know if you like it and we'll make this your new lunch. I have to go, the people from Zambia are supposed to be calling to square it all away. Plan to be gone the second week of December."

"What?! No, that's when the play is! I really want to do this play, Mom! It's important!"

"It's not. It's high school. In the grand scheme of things, it's nothing. I'll print out the paperwork for independent study before I pick you up, we can get you signed up tonight after dinner. And don't you dare break a sweat in P.E., I need you to look good for DermaPerf. Tell the coach you have a stomachache. Better yet, why don't I just pick you up in an hour? School is a waste of time for you right now."

"Mom...please. Just...let me stay here."

"James, you have to grow up sometime. You're seventeen years old, you'd be an adult in some countries. It's time to embrace your future. You're not a child anymore."

Had he _ever_ been a child? For as long as James could remember (or at least since second grade), he'd been shoved into a world he didn't want to live in. He longed for the days when he'd hang out with buddies after school, play some hockey in the street or check out the latest video game at a friend's house. Hockey had eventually been deemed a threat because "You could break a tooth or bruise that perfect face" and video games were "a waste of time." Since the first time an agent had approached his mother with a business card, his entire life had been geared toward being _someone_.

Apparently just being himself wasn't good enough. He had to be SOMEONE.

"We're not going to argue about this. I have to go. I'll expect you at the front of the school in an hour."

"No, Mom, please, just...give me one more day. Let me enjoy my last day here. Please."

Perhaps it was the sound of tears in his voice that got through to her; nothing else ever did. "James..."

"Mom. Please."

He couldn't be so lucky. "I'm sorry, but not this time. Your school days are over. There's also a shampoo company that's interested in you, and I need to get back to them. I'll do that now, but be out front in an hour. I'll call the office and let them know I'm taking you early. Don't be late."

After ending the call, James shoved the lunch he didn't want out of the way so he could make a cushion with his arms. His head fell onto them and he closed his eyes in an attempt to block out the scream that wanted to break free. His mother had always been pushy and aggressive, but the past two years it had gotten worse. It was one thing when she'd been shoving him into auditions; at least he liked acting and singing (and modeling wasn't too bad, just a little boring). She'd come up with the idea for him to start a channel online and that was the beginning of the true madness. Her reasoning was that it was easier and quicker to get famous doing that than struggling for years to make it in the entertainment industry. Once he'd succeeded there, the offers would come pouring in. James supposed there _was_ some logic in it, but he didn't like making videos about things he had no interest in. He didn't like making videos for strangers who didn't really know him or what he was all about. The persona his mother had created wasn't him.

James loved meat. He wasn't really a fan of fruits or vegetables. He couldn't have cared less if his face was smooth and shiny from some new skincare regimen. Sure, he wanted to look good, but not to be famous. He wanted to look good in case that special someone came along.

But if that special someone didn't even know who he was and judged him for the persona the world believed him to be...well, that would suck.

An outburst of laughter from the next table over caught his attention and James scowled. Of course Mr. Perfect was having a great day. Wasn't he always? The guy had everything going for him—looks, popularity (and not the kind you had to be fake for, nope, this guy was loved by everyone just for being...well, _perfect_), looks, a real family who supported him, looks, and the adoration of the entire school. Faculty included, since his father had just retired from coaching here. Yep, everyone loved Kendall Knight. Star athlete on the hockey team. Son of a former pro hockey player. Charmer of teachers in every class. All-American boy with that "aw shucks" wholesomeness that turned fierce on the ice. Kendall was perfection through and through and he didn't even have to try for it. Everything was just handed to him. Grades, victory on the ice, girls falling at his feet to date him...

_Must be nice. Must be so fucking nice to be that perfect and have everything. Wouldn't it be good to be in his shoes?_

"Dude, I can't believe lunch is almost over! I only have like ten minutes to eat my corn dogs!"

And just like that the aroma of meat fried in batter was almost impossible to resist. Carlos Garcia had joined him, bringing heaven on a stick along for the party. James didn't bother lifting his head. The sight would just make his hunger for them worse.

"The line was so long! Always is on corn dog day, though. Want a bite?"

Did he ever. "No."

"What's the matter? Mom ruin your day again?"

"Every day. She wants to jerk me out of school and send me to Africa."

"Africa?! What the hell for?"

"To help the poor. And if I say no to that, I'm an asshole."

"Nah, you're just a regular teenager who's too selfish to focus on the rest of the world. When are you supposed to go?"

"Second week of December."

"Isn't that when the play is?"

"Yep."

"No way, man! Tell her you can't go. She knows you want this part, right?"

"She doesn't care. Says high school doesn't matter." James' gaze was still trained on Knight, who was cutting up with his buddy Logan Mitchell. Another perfect student, at least academically. It made sense they'd be drawn to each other. Two perfect kids with not a care in the world other than "What shirt should I wear today?" or "I hope Mom made pancakes for breakfast!"

"Doesn't matter? How are you supposed to graduate?"

"I told you, she's yanking me out of school. Says I can finish school 'on the road.' Whatever the hell that means."

"Oh come on, man. Will you look at me?"

James finally did, after slowly lifting his head up from the table.

"You're still trying out today, right?"

"Mom says no. She's picking me up in an hour and I don't get a say in it. I probably won't ever come back."

"Dude, that's bullshit. Your mom's insane."

James shrugged. "If you ask her, she's 'being a good mother and looking out for her son's future.'"

"Okay but you're dying in the meantime. You never smile anymore, dude. You have to tell her you're not happy."

"I have! I've told her a million times and she doesn't care. I'm 'too young to know what I want.'"

"Bullshit," Carlos repeated. There was a mustard smear on his bottom lip that James decided to ignore. "You have to stand up to her."

"How. How am I supposed to stand up to my mother? I'm not an adult. She still has control over me."

"For a few more months, anyway. But by that time she's ruined your last year of high school."

"Along with ten years of my life."

Carlos shook his head. "I wouldn't want to be you, man. No offense."

"Trust me, none taken._ I_ don't even want to be me." James sighed before shoving the salad container back in his sack; it really wasn't what he wanted. "What do you think it's like to be Kendall Knight?"

"Kendall Knight?" Carlos glanced to his left at the subject of their discussion. "Pretty freaking awesome, I'd imagine. Everyone loves that guy."

"Right?! And he doesn't even have to try! He's like...perfect. Perfect parents, perfect scores in hockey, perfect..." James' eyes furtively skated over Kendall from head to toe. _"Everything."_

"Perfect best friend, too. Sorry I'm not all that, buddy," Carlos teased.

"Shut up, you're great," James chuckled. He finally tore his focus from Kendall. "Just think, once I'm gone you can have a normal best friend."

"That's not funny, James. Nobody else puts up with my random singing whenever the mood strikes."

"Maybe you'll meet someone in the play who does. If I don't try out, you might actually have a shot at the lead."

"Wow, thanks so much for that vote of confidence." Carlos wasn't offended, though. "I don't know how I'd feel about kissing a dude. You're cool with that? If you get it?"

"I'm not going to, because apparently I don't even get to try out." James shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal and he hadn't been counting on that as a way to actually kiss a guy without outing himself. Nobody would think it weird if it was just part of the play, right? It wasn't like he'd ever get away with that in front of his mother. Or...the millions of strangers who watched his vlogs. James had kissed girls in musicals and plays before, but never a dude. The curiosity was killing him, because he'd seen girls naked on television plenty of times and it didn't do much for him. A guy taking off his shirt? Totally different story. James thought there might be something to that, but at the rate his life was going, he'd never find out.

"Man, I'm sorry. I wish you had a different mom."

"I wish I had a different _life_. I just...I don't know what to do. I keep telling myself to hold out for a few more months, that once I'm eighteen I can go where I want. I could just take off for L.A. or whatever and try to make it out there."

"Doing what, though?"

"I actually do like acting and singing. I know it's a hard life trying to make it, but it has to be better than eating this shit and having strangers touch my face with who knows what."

"Well...whatever you decide, just remember the little people. Maybe once I get out of here I can join you out there."

James sighed, wanting to lay his head down again. "It's not gonna happen. Mom will find a way to freeze all my money, because it's in some kind of trust or something. I'll have nothing, no way to get out there and no place to live once I do. It wouldn't matter if I was thirty—she controls me. I can't get away and I don't know how to..." Was he hyperventilating again?

"Dude. It's okay. Breathe. Just...don't think about it right now. Here."

Carlos broke off a piece of corn dog and held it out. James' stomach growled loudly and he was two seconds away from snatching it up when his mother's voice yelled at him in his head. His face crumpled, tears close to the surface.

He couldn't do this anymore.

* * *

"So do you think she was flirting? Or am I just reading too much into the whole thing?"

Kendall thought he was the last person to answer a question like that; he was horrible at reading girls. "She might've been. You need more time with her to figure that out. Maybe another study session. Do you like her?"

"She's okay," Logan shrugged. "Smart, so that's a plus. I just don't really know how to act around girls, you know? I'll probably screw it up."

"Just be yourself. Being something you're not will only cause problems in the future, for both of you." Kendall reached into his brown paper sack for the apple his mother always threw in, only to come out with...

"What is that?" Logan snickered.

"It's...a bell pepper, I think. Mom must've been in a hurry this morning." He laughed it off, but on the inside his stomach was churning. His mother was doing this sort of thing more and more often, and Kendall knew why.

She was falling apart.

He shoved the pepper back into the sack, no longer hungry.

"I'd say so. How long has it been since she sent homemade cookies? I miss those."

"Me, too. She's just busy." That wasn't the whole truth, but Logan didn't need to know that. Time to change the subject. "If you want things to go somewhere with Michelle, spend more time with her. See how it goes."

"I really don't know if I like her like that. It's just weird to think a girl might be into me."

"Logan, you're not a freak. This is senior year, your time to explore that sort of thing."

"Ha, I wish. Senior year is time to stress over keeping my straight A's and getting into medical school."

Kendall watched his friend bite into a strawberry, an uncharacteristic pang of envy washing over him. Logan had no idea how lucky he was or what Kendall would give for his biggest problems to be a girl flirting with him or trying to get into a school. True, Kendall was concerned with keeping his grades up, but only because without them he'd be kicked off the hockey team. And that was unthinkable, the absolute worst thing that could happen to him right now.

Well...not the _worst_. There was one other horrible thing that was possible, and more likely. But Kendall didn't want to think about that.

"Are you still gonna try out for that play after school?"

The play. He wanted to. He _really_ wanted to. He could probably get away with missing one hockey practice to audition, but then what? What if he actually got a part and it cut into hockey time for the next month of rehearsals? His dad wouldn't understand. As far as Dad was concerned, hockey was life. And how in the hell was he supposed to fit a_ job_ into all of that?

"I don't know," Kendall sighed.

"You still want to, right?"

"I guess. It would cause problems with hockey, though."

"Ah. Can't do anything to mess with hockey, can we?"

The snide comment rubbed Kendall wrong. "Look, hockey is important to me. I know you don't get that, but I'm not asking you to. It's _my_ life."

Logan dropped the new strawberry he'd just picked up and stared at Kendall with wide eyes. "Kendall, relax. I didn't mean anything by it. I just know that you really wanted to do this and...well, the truth is lately hockey just seems to stress you out. I thought it would be good for you to try something else. Something more fun. But...I'll back off. I'm just...I'm worried about you, okay? You haven't been yourself since summer. I don't know what changed, but something did and you're not..." He shook his head. "Forget it. I gotta go anyway, I'm meeting Chris before math class to go over his homework." Logan started to pack up the remains of his lunch.

"Logan, wait. I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind and...I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's fine." Judging from Logan's stiff movements, it wasn't. "See you tomorrow."

"Logan—"

"Kendall, it's fine." He stood up with his overstuffed backpack. "I'm here if you ever need to talk, though. Okay?"

Kendall felt like an asshole. His own best friend didn't know the truth about why he'd changed, and that wasn't fair. But it also wasn't something Kendall ever wanted to talk about. "Okay. Thanks."

After studying Kendall for another moment, Logan turned away only to spin back around. "But for the record? I really think you should do this play. You love movies and you like to act and...I know hockey is your life. It's your entire purpose. But if it's not fun...you know?"

Yes. Kendall_ did_ know. But there were things Logan didn't know, and those things couldn't just be set aside.

He nodded anyway.

Once alone, Kendall's shoulders dropped. His body deflated, as if he'd been holding it up by sheer force of will for hours. He supposed in a way, he had; he couldn't let anyone see that something was wrong.

Except apparently Logan _had _seen it. How long before someone else did?

How long before his father did?

_Dad. I'm sorry. All I want to do is make you proud and I'm failing. It's all falling apart. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be okay with this._

This wasn't the place to cry. He had to get away.

But that required energy, and Kendall didn't have any of that to spare at the moment. His body felt like dead weight.

"Hey, Kendall, how's it going?"

A fake smile was plastered on immediately for the passing student. Someone from second period, right? Robert? Bobby? "Hey, never better."

"Can't wait to see you crush Duluth East Friday, man!"

"Yeah, it'll be a bloodbath." The smile lasted until Robert-Bobby had moved on, then faded again. It was exhausting pretending like things were great all the time. He didn't know how much longer he could keep it up.

While turning his head forward again, Kendall's gaze caught on the shimmer of lights on silky brown hair that always looked soft enough to sleep on. A scowl creased his face.

_Diamond. Perfect Diamond with his perfect hair and perfect life. That guy's got no worries, he just wakes up every morning and looks good, gets paid to do nothing but smile for a camera. How much money are they paying you to wear that shirt, Diamond? To pack your lunch in that bag? To fucking open your mouth and breathe air? God, all you have to do is walk into a room and money just falls at your feet. Must be nice. Must be so fucking nice. Spoiled, rich—_

Kendall jolted at the sound of his phone buzzing. His stomach clenched when he saw that it was Mom.

If Mom was calling him at school, it had to be bad.

_Breathe, Kendall. Maybe she's just calling to apologize for the bell pepper. Maybe Katie got sent home for talking back to a teacher again. _

That wasn't necessarily a good thing, but it was sure better than other things Mom could be calling about.

"Hey, Mom."

"Kendall, I'm so sorry to bother you at school. Are you in class?"

His mother had been crying. Kendall's heart shredded and fear settled into the cracks. "What's wrong?"

"He fell. I just called an ambulance, he doesn't have the strength to get up and I can't lift him and they're on the way. He's breathing, says he's okay but it made the pain worse and—"

"Mom, it's gonna be okay. He's conscious, right?"

"Yeah, but he can't—"

"They're on the way. It'll be okay." Kendall knew that wasn't true, nothing was ever okay anymore, but his mom needed to believe it. "Is Katie home?"

"No, and we won't be done in time to pick her up. Can you get her after school? I'll call them and tell them to have her wait for you. Or...I'm sorry, baby, but would you mind just getting her as soon as possible? I'd rather have you both here."

Kendall's eyes fell shut. He'd pretty much already given up hope for the play, but this was the final nail in the coffin. "Sure."

"I know you'll be missing hockey, and I'm sorry. I'll call Coach and let him know you won't be there. It's just one day. I need you to take care of Katie until we get home, or...until I do. They might keep him and..." A sob broke free.

"Mom, don't worry about that right now. I can handle Katie, just take care of Dad. Keep me posted, okay? Do you want me to go now? To meet you at the hospital? Katie will be safe at school until we can get there."

"No, sweetie, you just get her and...I'm fine. This isn't it, this is just..."

"I know." He _hoped_. "I love you, Mom."

She choked on another sob. "I love you, too. He's—oh, they're here. I have to go, just don't forget Katie."

"I won't. Go take care of Dad. Call me!"

His hands were shaking as he set the phone down on the table. He really didn't think this was the end, but it was definitely a reminder that the end was coming. And on top of that, this hospital visit would put them out another ten thousand dollars at the very least. His mother probably hadn't realized that just yet. She would, and then she would have another breakdown over money and things they couldn't control.

_Definitely have to get that job. If we lose the house..._

Then what? Where would they go? Even once Dad got to the hospice point, that would cost money, too. A part-time job wouldn't fix everything, but it was a start.

Except when would he have time to work? Hockey practice usually went until five, and he supposed he could find a job working six to ten somewhere and every weekend, but then what about homework? If he didn't keep his grades up, he couldn't stay on the hockey team and then it really would be the end, because at this point Kendall's hockey career was the only thing his dad was living for. So he had to keep his grades up.

_But how can I do that when I don't have time for homework? I guess I just don't sleep._

He was already so tired, what different would it make?

Fatigue set in, a bone-weary exhaustion he'd never come to close to even after hours of pushing himself on the ice. All Kendall wanted to do was sleep, maybe for years.

A whiff of cologne hit his nostrils, something woodsy and masculine that was intoxicating and woke him up. It reminded him of camping trips he and Dad used to take before things changed. He breathed it in before realizing it had come from Diamond, who was strutting toward the cafeteria's exit as heads turned to watch. Immediately the scent soured in his brain.

_Must be so fucking nice to have your easy life. Wouldn't it be good._

Suddenly Kendall wanted to throw up.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N—Now that "Magic" is done, I'm continuing this story. As a reminder, James and Kendall have both reached the ends of their ropes and feel like they can't cope anymore. That's where we left off last chapter. Here's the next! Thanks for reading. :)

Also, there's a lot of switching back and forth with POV's in this one, so hopefully it's not confusiing!

* * *

He flew by Diamond on the way, probably jostled him in his haste to get to the bathroom. If Diamond was offended, Kendall didn't notice.

He just kept running.

Part of him wanted to go past the restroom and out the door, to just not stop and end up...well, it didn't matter as long as he escaped it all. There was Katie, though, and he couldn't abandon her. In truth, he couldn't abandon any of them but Katie was his main concern since Mom was too worried and distracted to be what his little sister needed.

So instead he ducked into the bathroom and then to a stall, locking the door before spinning to fall to his knees. His backpack dropped next to the toilet. Kendall bent over it and waited for the sandwich he'd nibbled on to come back up.

All that happened was a series of gags and dry heaves. For some reason, the fact that he couldn't even throw up properly was the last straw. He dissolved into silent sobs, not wanting whoever had just entered the restroom to overhear.

_I just want this to be over. I can't do this anymore. I wish I was someone else. I wish I had a perfect life like Diamond._

* * *

Kendall did jostle James as he ran by, but James was too focused on keeping tears from escaping to notice. He couldn't lose it in front of other people, especially students who could ruin him with cleverly-worded insults on social media.

_Just make it to the bathroom. Don't run. That'll just attract attention._

It seemed forever before he made it into a stall and set down his backpack. He sank down onto the toilet seat and bent forward to hide his face in his hands, and then the tears came. He tried to muffle them, too aware that someone else occupied the stall next to him.

_I just want to be normal. I can't do this anymore. I wish I was someone else. I wish I had a perfect life like Knight._

* * *

Kendall's stomach suddenly lurched along with a wave of nausea that made the room spin. For a second he thought he could actually see himself from above, bent over the toilet as if passed out, and then a sinking feeling brought forth another stomach jolt. He was staring at the stall door, which made no sense, but there was no time to think about that.

He was finally going to lose his lunch.

He whirled around just in time, the water catching chunks of something orange as they were ejected from his body. A few more heaves emptied his stomach before he flushed the toilet and reached for toilet paper to wipe his mouth.

_I'm going to pass out. Oh my god, this is it, the stress is too much and I'm going to die._

* * *

James felt as if someone had hooked him like a fish and jerked on the pole to raise him above the surface. He gasped, then the nausea hit as he was spun over and around by invisible hands. With a jolt, gravity returned him to earth where his knees were already hurting from kneeling on the hard-packed cement of the bathroom. Dizziness swirled through his head until he emptied his stomach contents into the toilet; then it was fatigue that set in, so intense he thought he might pass out.

_There, Mom, see what you did? You pushed me too hard and now I'm sick. _You _did this. Maybe you'll get it when they find me unconscious on the floor._

* * *

Water. Water was what he needed.

Normally he brought a bottle with him each day, but today it had slipped his mind. Perhaps his mother wasn't the only one falling apart. Not about to drink toilet water, Kendall stood up slowly and reached for the door's lock. Another wave of dizziness hit and he leaned forward, head resting against the cool metal.

_I'm dying. I really am dying. I don't feel right, something's wrong. My body feels too light, like I'm withering away. Maybe I should go to the hospital._

But no, because then who would be there for Katie? How would they even afford medical bills for him when they were already drowning in his father's?

_Deal with it, Kendall. You're fine. Just take a deep breath and get yourself together. Mom needs you. They _all _need you._

Feeling a bit more steady, Kendall took the deep breath before reaching down for his backpack. Even that felt lighter.

What the hell was wrong with his muscles? The dizziness must have made him weaker. But that made no sense at all, because wouldn't his backpack feel heavier then? And why couldn't he get the smell of Diamond's cologne out of his nostrils? It was still there, cloying as it lingered.

He worked open the stall door and shuffled to the sink, afraid to look at himself just yet. Some cold water on his face would do the trick. Right after he rinsed out his mouth, because that taste was enough to make him puke all over again.

* * *

Toilet paper worked to clean his mouth, but it did nothing for the nasty taste still there. James reached for his backpack and worked it open with jerky movements because his body felt heavy, like it took more effort to move his arms than usual. That wasn't even the worst part, though.

The water bottle he always carried was gone. He knew where he put it every morning, where he'd in fact put it after taking a swig in third period. It was always right there in front of his...

Where the hell was his notebook?

Panic of a kind he'd never experienced before set in. His notebook was gone. His _notebook _was gone. The notebook that held all of his secret thoughts, the one that he wrote in after waking from _really _good dreams, the one that if anyone ever read could ruin his life worse than even his mother had...

_That _was missing.

"Shit," he whispered. "Shit shit shit."

Suddenly nausea was the least important thing in his life.

Maybe he'd put it in the main compartment instead of the front pocket by mistake. James quickly opened that one and did a visual search, realizing slowly that something was very wrong.

These weren't his books. Yes, maybe the history one, that one was definitely from his class. But the physics one...and the math one...James didn't even know what trigonometry _was_.

He wiped at his eyes, wondering if the nausea had broken his brain somehow. Or maybe the stress had. Shauna had told him that stress could do crazy things to the body. Maybe this was it, he'd finally lost his mind.

But no, when he looked again, the books still weren't his. His gaze narrowed as he studied the pack more closely. This wasn't even the brand he used, the one some company had paid him to carry around. The only thing in common with his own backpack was the color black.

"What the..."

The guy next to him. There had been a guy next to him when he came in. Had the dude reached under the stalls and switched out their bags while James was hurling?

_Oh my god. He knows. Somebody knows my secret and stole my backpack just to get the notebook and now they're going to expose me, they're going to ruin my life and Mom's going to disown me and—_

The sound of a throat clearing stopped the panic that had been gaining speed like a freight train.

_He's still in here._

James spun around, the open pack still dangling from his right hand, and flung open the lock to confront his would-be nemesis. The asshole wasn't going to get the chance, because James' backpack was still near the guy's feet, and the guy wasn't even paying attention; he was too busy rinsing out his mouth. All James had to do was grab the pack and run.

Which...might be a little difficult since he was still weak and shaky.

_You got this. Do it now while he's distracted. You can pass out once you're out of here with the pack safely in your possession. Just get the backpack!_

He might've succeeded if the shoes didn't throw him off. While reaching down to grab a strap, James noticed the shoes the dude was wearing.

One-of-a-kind Smashers. No other shoe like that in the world because the company had created a custom pair specifically for him and to his exact specifications.

_What the actual fuck is going on here?_

James straightened to confront the dude who had somehow managed to steal his shoes without his knowledge, and when he looked into the mirror to study the guy, he realized it had finally happened.

James Diamond had officially lost his mind.

* * *

Sink water wasn't the best either, but Kendall thought it had to be better than toilet water. He hoped, anyway. It worked to rinse most of the bad taste from his mouth. After that he used it to splash his face a few times, then blindly reached for a paper towel. One magically appeared in his hand as if someone had been waiting to hand it to him. He'd worry about that later.

Right now he just had to know that he was okay.

He dried his face with the towel and stood up straighter. Other than still feeling weaker than usual, he thought he would be okay. He just had to make it through—

"What the fuck is happening here?"

The question came from his left, as the paper towel had, but that didn't make sense because it was in his own head. It must be, because it sounded like his voice.

Kendall used the mirror to see who was talking (or if, as he suspected, he was losing his mind and imagining things), and...yes. Yes, he was definitely losing his mind. Because he was standing next to himself with arms crossed over his chest in a defiant, offended manner.

There were two Kendalls. Okay. He'd officially gone crazy.

Except...

When he looked again, that wasn't right. There was _one _Kendall. And one...

Kendall's brows drew together. In the mirror, it was James whose expression did that. It was James Diamond standing where he was, moving his hand up to feel his face, responding when Kendall shifted his weight to the right and away from...himself?

"I asked you a question. What the fuck did you do to me?"

Yep, definitely his voice, and his body speaking the words. Kendall turned slowly to face "Kendall" head on. "Who are you?"

"Who _am _I?! Are you seriously asking me that right now? Who the hell do you think I am?!"

"I...you look like me, and yet...I don't..."

"_You _look like _me_. You sound like me. You stole my backpack! Who the fuck are you and why am I...why are you..._what is happening here?!_"

Whatever it was, they didn't need people to know about it. Kendall stepped closer to...himself...while making shushing noises that sounded weird coming from another throat. The other guy moved out of reach.

"Don't touch me!"

Did Kendall really sound like that when he was freaking out? God, why hadn't anyone ever told him how whiny he was? Then again, he was good at keeping the freakouts inside where no one knew about them. "Sorry! Sorry, I just...whatever's going on, we don't need anyone else to know. This is...I don't..."

"Anyone could walk in right now, you know. This is not a secret place."

Pseudo-Kendall had a point. Kendall already had a suspicion about who might be running his body at the moment, but for now he wasn't going to think about that. It was too much. He walked past the guy in order to grab his own backpack, which Pseudo-Kendall had left just inside the stall Kendall had originally gone into (he remembered that clearly, he'd chosen the first one he came to), and then swung open the door to the larger handicapped stall. They could both fit in there. "Get in here."

"Excuse me?"

Kendall wondered if he'd ever made that outraged expression before, because it looked ridiculous on his face. "Please just get in here so we can talk without being seen."

"Oh right, because that's normal. Two dudes in a stall together. Nobody's going to think _that's _weird."

Kendall rolled his eyes, and what would that look like on Diamond's face? But at least the knowledge that he was in Diamond's body explained the weaker muscles; as hot as he was, the guy had never seemed like one to exercise much. And didn't he eat nothing but plants? No wonder he was so damn skinny.

After setting down his backpack in a corner, Kendall stepped up onto the toilet seat and balanced himself so that his feet didn't show under the walls. "There, now it just looks like you're in here by yourself. Get in."

"I'd rather just go. I have places to be, so..."

"And so do I. Get the fuck into this stall. Right now."

It took longer than it should have, but eventually Kendall watched his own body slip into the larger stall and lock the door. Pseudo-Kendall was hugging the other backpack to his chest as if it was treasure, and who knew what that was about but at least they were alone and facing each other. Two sets of eyes skimmed up and down slowly, taking in the sight of their own bodies from the outside until Kendall swallowed hard and said, "I'm Kendall Knight. I'm going to assume you're James Diamond. Somehow we switched bodies."

* * *

James hadn't wanted to consider that, but it was the only thing that made sense.

Did it _really _make sense, though? Switching bodies? That was impossible.

And yet here he was, inside the body of Kendall Knight. Kendall Fucking Knight, Mr. Perfect. Fate had a cruel sense of humor.

"Stop that."

James jolted. "What? I wasn't doing anything."

"You're glaring. Or...scowling. I don't do that off the ice, so just...stop."

"Oh, sorry, heaven forbid Mr. Perfect not be smiling and happy all the time. Might ruin your reputation, right?"

Kendall blinked a few times. "Mr. Perfect? That's what you call me?"

James turned away, not wanting to look at his own face nearing something akin to hurt. "Aren't you?"

"Perfect? Not even close. But that doesn't matter right now; we have to figure out what's going on so we can fix it."

"We already know what's going on. I'm here and you're there."

"Right, but how did it happen?"

That wasn't something James wanted to discuss with Kendall. He didn't know for sure, but it might have to do with a thought like "I wish I had a perfect life like Knight" running through his head. He certainly couldn't admit _that _to Kendall. "Who knows?"

Kendall seemed like he might know, and James thought it was weird to witness an expression of such intense focus on his face; he wasn't much of a thinker unless it was to imagine...no, best not to think about that right now. Kendall's voice (or rather, his own) distracted him. "Look, I might've...I think it's my fault. I don't know how it happened and I don't know how to fix it, but I think I know _why_. We just have to focus on switching back."

"How do we do that?"

"Just give me a second. Set down the backpack."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to be holding anything when I switch back, I'll just end up dropping it. Set the damn thing down!"

"Don't yell at me! You're not the boss here, you don't get to order me around."

"Oh my god, will you stop being so offended every five seconds and just cooperate? Do you want your body back or not?"

"Duh!"

"Then please, put down the backpack so I can focus on this."

"Fine." Just to be safe, James set it behind his legs so that it was protected by his body. This might still be a ploy to steal his notebook and expose him. He _had _made a few enemies on his channel. He couldn't be too careful.

"Thank you. Now just...what were you doing when this happened?"

"Sitting on the toilet. Not...you know." His face reddened. "Not doing _that_. Just...thinking." _Freaking out. Wanting a different life. Wanting _your _life._

"Okay. I know what I was doing, so I'm gonna try it again. Don't move."

James watched as Kendall closed hazel eyes, still balanced in a crouch over the toilet seat. Kendall definitely had better balance than he did. James remembered the one hockey game Carlos had dragged him to and how he'd watched Kendall skate the entire time while his mind wandered to other ways Kendall might move. _Nice _ways. Yeah, Knight knew how to control muscles, especially in those thighs and—

James closed his eyes when he realized he was looking at his own thighs and imagining...things. _Ew. Ew ew ew okay I want my body back. Please._

"Dammit," Kendall suddenly muttered. His eyes flew open. "Are you moving around?"

"No! I'm just standing here!"

"Okay well...maybe think about what you were thinking about when this all happened. Do you remember what that was?"

"Of course. It was only ten minutes ago, I'm not stupid."

"James. Will you just...listen, I'm not here to insult you. I'm not judging you. I'm trying to fix this. Can you please just work with me?"

"Whatever."

"Were your eyes closed?"

"I don't...maybe?"

"Okay, so...let's try that. Close your eyes."

_And let you steal my notebook? Fuck that. _"No way."

"What?"

"No. We're doing this with my eyes open."

"What if it doesn't work?"

"I don't care. You're not touching my backpack."

"Your...you're worried about your backpack?"

"Duh."

Kendall's mouth moved (_mine, it's my mouth and this is so fucking _weird) but no sound came out. He seemed to be reaching for patience. "I'm not after your backpack."

"Like you'd admit it if you were?"

"Are you always this ridiculous?"

"Are you always this much of a jerk? Because I thought you were Mr. Perfect, and everybody loves you."

"Loves me? No, you're the one with two million people following your every move."

"Don't try to make this about me. You're not getting my backpack."

"Oh my god! I don't give a fuck about your stupid backpack!"

"Oh yeah?" James used his foot to slide the pack backward and outside the stall. "There. Now you have to get past me _and _a locked door. Try it, I dare you. This body is way stronger, but I'm sure you know that."

"I do," Kendall nodded. "Do you not work out at all? You're taller than me, you should be heavier. Eat some meat once in awhile."

_Oh, if you only knew how badly I wish I could. _"Don't insult my eating habits. And who's got time to work out? If you weren't in hockey practice all the time, would you be even half this strong?"

"I...look, it doesn't matter. I have to be somewhere. Can we do this?"

"I'm just standing here waiting. And aren't my legs dying by now, from being in that position for so long?"

"Yes, so good luck trying to move once you get back in this body. Just be careful not to fall off the toilet. Close your eyes."

James braced himself and did, taking a deep breath. He peeked once to make sure Kendall wasn't going to try anything, but Kendall had his own eyes closed as well.

"Just think what you were thinking when this happened. Please."

That wouldn't work; it had gotten them into this mess in the first place. Instead, James focused on the opposite.

_I wish I was James Diamond. I wish I was James Diamond. I wish I was James Diamond._

The silence between them stretched out for an entire minute. Nothing weird happened.

When he opened his eyes, he was still staring at himself.

* * *

_I wish I was Kendall Knight. I wish I was Kendall Knight. I wish I was Kendall Knight._

He waited for the nausea. That floating feeling. _Anything_. Instead, all he felt was his knees cramping up from the ridiculous crouch over a toilet.

It hadn't worked. Opening his eyes only confirmed that. Diamond did the same (_with my face, how is this even possible?_) and their gazes locked before Kendall sighed. "Fuck."

"What now?"

"Did you try? Were you like...wishing to undo this or something?"

"Yes! I tried! I wished I was myself again! Kendall, what the fuck do we do?!"

"Okay, calm down. Just..." First priority was getting off this toilet. "Can you help me down?"

"Help you...seriously? You can't get down?"

"I can, but it's going to kill my legs because they're locked into place. _Your _legs, by the way."

"Right."

"I just need...can I lean on you while I climb down? In case I lose my balance?"

"Okay, just...hold on." James closed the distance in order to slide his arms under and behind Kendall.

"What are you doing?"

"Picking you up."

"I don't need—"

"Will you just shut up?"

Kendall did. James used both arms to cradle Kendall's body and slowly set him down on the floor. Kendall let out a breath of relief as he straightened; they both heard his knees pop loudly. "You really need to stretch more. These muscles are so out of shape."

"Well hey, maybe you can take care of that while you're living in my body. How about you just use the time to pump me up since it looks like we'll be stuck like this for...oh, I don't know. _Forever?!_" James ran a hand through blond bangs, seeming to be surprised when his fingers finished the task too soon. Though their bangs were about the same length, James' hair was much longer, stretching all the way to his collar.

"Dude, seriously, you need to calm down. You're not helping."

"Well you're not either!" James hissed with wide green eyes. "Your plan didn't work! I have to meet my mom soon or she'll kill me, and I can't do it in this body!"

"Like you're the only one who has a life? I'm sorry, is this going to inconvenience your fame and fortune for five minutes? Are you going to lose twenty million dollars by missing a precious vlog?"

James' mouth fell open. "You don't know me or what I deal with! Just for that, I'm skating like shit in the championship game Saturday. Hope you don't mind _losing _for once!"

Kendall gasped and pointed a finger at Diamond. "Take that back!"

"No! You take back what _you _said! I don't give a shit about the vlogs!"

"Oh, bullshit. You live for that stuff. You'd be nothing without all that money and fame. Just a normal kid in a normal high school with normal friends. Oh my god, how would you stand it?"

James was struck silent. He stared back in shock with wetness gathering in his eyes. And...yeah, maybe more than a little hurt. Kendall immediately felt bad. "Look, I—"

"Shut up. Just shut up. You have no idea what I live with."

Now the tears were spilling over, and it was difficult for Kendall to watch himself cry. Kendall _never _cried, not as long as he could help it anyway. Feeling even worse now, he reached for some toilet paper and handed it to James, who used it in embarrassment and shame while turning his back on Kendall.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't even...just..._fuck_!"

The lock was slid open with a crack and then James was gone.

"Wait, don't—"

But there was no need to worry. When Kendall stepped out of the stall, it was to find James bending over a sink to wet his face.

"James, look, I'm—"

"Just..." James shook his head and then lifted it. "Ugh, my eyes are all puffy and red. Where's my...?"

Kendall stepped back as James approached. He hefted his backpack onto a sink and dug into a small outside pocket. A tube of something that looked like lipstick appeared, except it was a beige color.

"What are you doing?"

"It's just concealer."

"It's just...wait, _make-up_? You're using _make-up_? Don't you dare touch my face with that shit!"

"Do you _want _people to know you've been crying?"

"James, I'm serious, knock it off! Anyone could walk in and it would look like me putting on make-up!" With a twist of the tube, a flesh-colored stick appeared. James raised it toward the puffiness under his right eye. "Don't do it!" Kendall yelled.

The stick stopped moving. "Oh crap. Your skin's too pale for this shade. Dammit, don't you ever go outside?! I thought you were all like...athletic."

"Hello, my sport takes place inside and on ice! I don't spend an hour in a tanning bed every week like some people."

James rolled his eyes. "It was once. I just had to say I do it every week, it was part of the contract." He snapped a cap back onto the tube and spun around to study Kendall. "You watch my channel?"

Kendall's brows shot up. "What?! No! What use would I have for something like that?" James shifted his weight and smirked as if he didn't believe it, and again that was a foreign expression to Kendall's face. "My sister watches it, okay? Sometimes I overhear when I'm doing homework in the dining room. It's kind of hard not to."

James nodded slowly, that smirk still in place. "Okay."

"Oh, like you don't come to my games? I saw you there. I wouldn't have pegged you for a hockey fan."

"I went once. My best friend made me."

"He _made _you?"

"Yes! I mean, I admit I was just trying to get out of the house, but I tried to convince him to do something else and he wouldn't. So that's where we ended up."

"You probably hated it."

"It was...okay. I used to play, so—"

"Ha!"

The interjection cut off James' sentence. "What's so funny?"

"_You? _Played _hockey_?"

James stood up straighter in an indignant pose. "Yes, me! I played for two years when I was little! And I was fantastic!"

Kendall snorted. "Yeah, so good you stopped playing."

"I had to, okay? My mom made me!"

"Sure," Kendall nodded. "Sounds like other people spend a lot of time 'making you' do things. Must be hard to have your perfect life planned out for you."

"Stop judging me!" James yelled. "And stop acting like you know what I go through!"

"Fine, if it'll keep you from making me sound so whiny. Do you even know how to use a normal tone of voice?"

Again words failed James. That hurt look was coming back, and Kendall couldn't stand it. "Look, the period's almost over. We've been lucky that no one else has come in, but when that bell rings we're fucked. What are we gonna do about this?"

James shrugged. "Why ask me? I don't even think for myself, right? I just let everyone else make decisions for me."

Kendall closed his eyes and sighed. He supposed he had that coming.

"Honestly, I don't care what you do. Go fuck yourself." James spun on his heel and picked up the backpack. "I'm out of here."

"James, you can't just leave."

"Watch me."

"No, you don't get it. You _have _to care what I do, because the rest of the world will think it's you doing it."

That stopped James in his tracks. He halted just inside the main door.

"And when I show up to meet your mom, how's that gonna work out?"

"Oh god."

"Exactly."

James dropped the pack and leaned against the wall, back still to Kendall. "What are we gonna do?" Hopeless panic was setting in, Kendall heard it in his own voice.

"I don't know. We need time to think, to figure this out."

"We don't have that right now. Or...ever. I never have time to just sit and...think!"

"You're gonna have to find time. Your mom's on the way now?" When James nodded, Kendall added, "Can you stall her?"

"No way." James twisted to look at Kendall. "I already tried that, and she barely let me stay an extra hour. I have an appointment with a sponsor."

"Well, I have to pick up my baby sister from school and that's more important. You have to come with me."

Now James' entire body turned to face Kendall. "Did you not hear me? I have to go with my mom. I don't have a choice."

"And I'm not leaving my sister stranded at school!"

"Your mom can't pick her up? Or what about your dad, isn't he retired?"

"They're busy."

"It's their kid. What's more important than that?"

Kendall's gaze cut away. "Don't worry about it. I promised my mom I'd go get my sister."

"And _I _promised _my _mom I'd be waiting out front for her."

"Jesus, James, I'm sure your mom would understand if you told her—"

"You don't know my mom. I can't just say no, it doesn't work like that. I'm not dealing with her screaming at me."

Kendall closed his eyes to center himself. There had to be a way to make this work. "Okay, how about...just for today...we hang out for the night? You come with me to get my sister and we get her safely home, then I go with you to...wherever. And then when that's all done, we sit down and try to find a way out of this mess? We need time to do that, right?"

"And I pretend to be you? You pretend to be me? You really think that's gonna work?"

"Do you have a better plan?"

James bit his lip, teeth kneading at the sensitive skin before he caught himself and stopped. "Just for tonight, right?"

"Right. Can you like...fake being sick? Maybe your mom will cancel your appointment."

"It's more than one. I have three lined up. Oh fuck, I'm supposed to see Shauna today. That's never gonna work." James opened his backpack and came out with a bottle of water.

"Who's Shauna? Can you cancel?"

"She's my...uh. It's not for real, it's more like..."

"James, I don't care. Who is she?"

"A doctor. She's a doctor. But it's for the channel, I'm promoting her there. I don't actually have a problem." Water was swished around in his mouth and spit into the sink. "That's a little better."

Kendall frowned. "So...you go to a doctor and fake an injury? Just to get paid?"

"No, it's not like that. She's a uh...you know. Psychiatrist."

"Oh." That was...unexpected. "Yeah, I can't pull that off for you. You have to pretend to be sick."

"Even when I'm actually sick, I still have to do this stuff. Mom won't go for it." After one more swish and spit,the water bottle disappeared.

"Too bad. Because I'm not sitting in a room with a shrink pretending to be someone else. I'd end up committed by the time that's over. Now look, we have to make a decision. Can you do this? No matter what, I'm going to get my sister. It'll be easier to explain if we go together and pretend to be each other. If not, I'm just gonna show up there as you and say that Kendall sent you. And my sister's a huge fan, she'll probably make a big deal out of it. Attract lots of attention. You really want to let me handle that alone?" Kendall could see James was wavering. "Just tell me what to say to your mom."

"It won't matter. Mom's gonna flip out and yell either way."

"Then she flips out and yells. I'll do my best to appease her later, after we drop off my sister. Whatever she wants. Just not the therapist. You gotta get me out of that."

The idea of defying his mother seemed to terrify Diamond; he was still on the fence.

"Please, James. My sister...my _family_...is the most important thing in the world to me. Let me get my sister home safely and then I'll do anything you want."

It seemed ages before James came to a decision with a firm nod. "Okay. I'm going to 'pass out' here in the bathroom, you'll find me. Later 'I'll' call my mom and tell her you didn't want to leave me alone, you were worried about me, so you took me home with you until I was better. And then you're coming home with me because you're still worried."

Kendall considered the plan. "She won't think it's weird that a total stranger is that worried about you?"

"Nope, she'll just assume you're some fan who's obsessed with me."

"Uh...I'm not sure I'm okay with that."

"Take it or leave it, Knight. You want your sister to get home safe? That's the cost of my cooperation."

It felt like blackmail. Then again, Kendall had manipulated James the same way, so he couldn't really argue or complain. "Fine. My sister gets out in a half hour, it's her early day. Let's just go now and get this over with."

"Ditch class? All-American top student Kendall Knight wants to ditch class?"

Kendall glared through angry hazel eyes. "One more word and I eat bacon in public."

That was a proper threat. Kendall grinned as he watched his own face pale.


	3. Chapter 3

The timing worked out perfectly so that it was passing period as they each gathered their belongings. Hopefully no one would notice that they were opening each other's lockers or carrying each other's stuff. Neither had an issue with faking a cheery hello to those who hailed them in the halls, as they were both used to that.

"Mom might already be out front," James whispered after Kendall closed his locker. "How do we get out of here?"

"Through the gym. There's an exit by the field."

"Don't they lock that gate during class?"

"I'll tell the—well, _you'll _tell the guard—that I'm sick and you're leaving early to get me home."

"Like that's gonna work?"

"Yes, because I don't lie and Billy knows that."

"Billy?" James echoed with a roll of his eyes. "Of course you're on a first-name basis with the guards. Is there anyone around here who _doesn't _worship you?"

"Oh, look who's talking!"

"It's not like that for me!"

"Yes it is, it's..." Feeling the gazes of a few students on them, Kendall cleared his throat and hissed, "Okay, forget it. Let's just get out of here."

The process proved to be just as easy as Kendall had predicted. Using the fact that he was in Knight's body, James played up his concern for "James" when they located the guard and asked to be let out the back. He promised that their parents were aware of the situation and that was all it took; Billy wished "James" a speedy recovery. James recognized Wesley as one of the guards who usually paid him little mind. Wasn't it interesting that because he was with Knight, suddenly the man cared if he lived or died?

"Where's your car?" Kendall asked once they were free of the gate. "Please tell me it's nowhere near your mother."

"My car? You think I have a car?"

"You're rich. Of course you have a car."

"Ha! Like my mother would let me drive my own car?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Because then I might be able to escape once in awhile." James' laugh was devoid of humor. "I'd have freedom. Mom's not a fan of freedom."

"Damn," Kendall sighed.

"What about yours?"

"My what?"

"Your car. Surely the All-American hockey star Mr. Perfect has a car."

"Stop calling me that. I don't have a car."

"Really? I'm surprised."

"Yeah, well...whatever." He started walking along the sidewalk and James followed. "It's fine, Katie's school is only a mile away. We'll walk it."

Kendall seemed embarrassed by the fact that he didn't have a car. James was intrigued. "You ever ask for a car?"

"I had one," Kendall admitted. "When I turned sixteen, that was my birthday present."

James nodded. "Yep, that's exactly what I imagined. It was red, wasn't it?"

After a glare that shot out of hazel eyes, Kendall returned to silence.

"What happened? You get wasted and crash it?"

"No! I sold it."

"You...what?! Why would you sell your car?"

"I had my reasons."

"No, seriously. No teenager sells his car."

"It doesn't matter. I don't have one now."

"Did they make you? Your parents?"

"It's not your business."

"Okay, but I mean...if I had a car, I'd be driving that thing everywhere. As far as I could go."

"I'm not you."

James stopped walking and snickered at the fact that Kendall _was_, in fact, him. It took Kendall a few seconds, but then he realized it as well and turned back with an amused look on his face. "Okay, so I _am _you."

The snicker got away from James and soon became a full-on laugh. Kendall joined in and it went on until James was holding his stomach in pain. "Oh my god, I haven't laughed like that in years. I'm crying, dude."

"This really isn't funny."

"I know, but...it _is_! What the fuck is going on? How did this even...? What are we gonna do?!"

Kendall shook his head. "I don't know. I can't stop to think about this right now because my priority is Katie. I have to get her home. Once that's done and I know my dad is...uh, I mean, that she's home safe with him...I can worry about everything else."

"Wait, your dad's home? Why doesn't he just go get her?"

Kendall seemed hesitant to answer.

"Dude, if he can pick her up then we can meet my mom now because—" As if on cue, James' phone rang. "Fuck. She's at the school. Kendall, seriously, can't your dad just go get her?"

"No. I have to."

"But why? Mom's gonna keep calling until I answer, and when I don't she'll call the school and tell them to find me and—"

"And you passed out in the bathroom, remember? I'm taking you home with me. James, I'm sorry. I have to do this. You agreed to it."

"I just don't get why—"

"My dad's not home. He's at the hospital right now, with my mom. That's why I'm leaving early to get Katie."

James' gaze narrowed at the news. "The hospital? Is your mom okay?"

"Not Mom. Dad. He tripped. He's fine, they're just making sure nothing's wrong. It's no big deal."

James nodded slowly. "Okay. Why didn't you tell me that?"

"It's not your business," Kendall answered in a cold tone.

"Hey, don't get pissed at me. None of this is my fault." _Except it is. I'm the one who made the wish._

Surprisingly, Kendall seemed ashamed of his attitude. He hung his head, cheeks red, and James had seen that expression on his face during outtakes from his videos. That was how he looked when his mother scolded him. It was strange to see it in the moment like this, to watch himself experience emotion in real time. "Sorry," Kendall sighed. "I'm just...under a lot of stress right now."

"We both are. Let's just get through this and figure out how to fix it. Isn't that what you suggested earlier?"

"Yeah." Kendall raised his head and cleared his throat. "Yeah. Let's hurry."

They'd made it a block before James spoke again. "What do I need to know in order to fool your sister? What do I say when she asks why I'm there? And why _you're _there?"

"Well, I'm hoping she'll be so excited to meet you that she won't even wonder why I'm there. I was thinking you could tell her that you brought me along as a surprise. Or...I brought you. You know what I mean. That Kendall wanted to surprise her, and then she spends the entire walk home talking to James about his vlogs and stuff and we don't have to talk about anything else."

"Okay, except that you'll have to know enough about my vlogs to be able to carry on that conversation. Can you do that?"

"Shit." Kendall gave that some thought. "So we use the whole 'you're not feeling well' thing and I don't talk much. Because I..._you_...don't feel good."

"That's fine, but then I have to talk to her. As you. So...what do I need to know?"

Again, Kendall seemed to not want to answer.

"Kendall?"

"I'm thinking. Just...maybe you can tell her that you're worried about Dad and not in the mood to talk."

"So basically neither of us are talking much."

"Exactly."

"And that'll work?"

Kendall shrugged. "You got a better idea?"

No, he didn't. "Okay. I just hope I can pull you off. All-American Mr. Perfect. I can do that."

"Call me that one more time and I drop you to the sidewalk."

James suddenly wondered what it would be like to fight himself. Or anyone, for that matter. At least he was currently inhabiting a body with bigger muscles. He considered spitting out a comeback to the threat, but in the end decided to let it go.

They didn't need more complications to deal with. Besides, his mother would kill him if he bruised his own face.

* * *

They were approaching Katie's school when James realized he was walking alone. He stopped and glanced back to find Kendall shifting in a weird way, his hips swinging to the left and then the right. "What are you doing?"

"How do you stand this?"

"Stand what?"

"These jeans are crawling up my ass. Do you have to wear them so tight?" Kendall used a hand to attempt to loosen the clinging material. "Oh wait, you're probably being paid to wear this brand, aren't you?"

"No, I pick my own clothes. I look good in those jeans." James circled Kendall slowly to study the outfit. "Better than I thought. They really do accentuate my ass."

"Yeah, they also give me a wedgie. Seriously, dude, how do you stand it?"

"You get used to it. Come on, Mom's calling again. She's probably super pissed by now, we need to hurry."

Kendall tried one more time to find a less constraining fit and then gave up. "Fine. But I'm changing out of these the second we get to your house. Do you own a pair of sweats?"

"Of course. Lots." He waited until Kendall caught up to start walking again. "I even have some old gym shoes if those are too 'fashionable' for you."

"No, the shoes are...surprisingly comfortable."

"They should be, considering they were made for me." James didn't have to look over to know Kendall was rolling his eyes.

"Of course they were."

"Look, I can't help it if companies want to throw shit at me. Shoes as great as that? I'm not gonna say no. Just go buy yourself a pair if you like them so much."

"You do realize these cost about five-hundred dollars?"

"So? Your dad's a retired hockey player. You guys have money." He waited for a comeback but there wasn't one; Kendall had returned to silence. Better to discuss the problem at hand anyway. "So what do I say when she asks me how Dad fell?"

"Tell her you don't know all the details. All Mom told me is that he fell and the ambulance was on the way."

James' steps faltered. "Ambulance?"

"Shit."

"It's that serious?"

"No, she just didn't want to take any chances. Mom overreacts about that kind of stuff, it's fine. He's fine."

"Okaaaaaaay. Listen, if you need to talk or just—"

"I don't need to talk! We're almost there, just play it cool. Pretend you're a little worried, but not too much."

James wasn't sure how to do that. Now that they were officially on school property, nerves were setting in. He didn't know Kendall well enough to fool someone who did. How was he going to do this?

"Oh good, she's heading for the office. We won't have to wait."

James followed Kendall's gaze to a girl with a long brown ponytail swinging down over a blue t-shirt. "That's her? I thought you said _baby _sister."

"I did."

"Dude, she has to be at least thirteen."

"She's eleven. Don't even think about it."

James watched as Katie disappeared into the office. "About...what, exactly?"

"Going for her. She's _eleven_. Too young to date and _way _too young for you."

A snort escaped James. "You think I want to date her? Are you insane?"

"No, but _you _are, so I'm warning you now. Don't even think about it."

"Oh my god, she's so not what I would want to date."

"Why not? She's pretty. Are you insulting my baby sister?"

James' jaw dropped. "And you call _me _ridiculous? Look, dude, I'm not gonna make a play for her. That's disgusting. Especially since I'm in your body, so how would that look?"

"Well, you won't always be. We're gonna reverse this. I'm just saying, she's off limits."

"Kendall, trust me. She's a child, you have nothing to worry about."

"Good." They reached the building and Kendall pulled the door open for James. "Let me do the talking."

"Not sure that's a good idea, since you're me."

Kendall groaned, realizing James was right. "Wing it."

_That's the plan. _It was weird enough being back at the middle school he'd graduated from; add in the fact that he wasn't even in his own body, and there wasn't much more he could do than "wing it." He cleared his throat as a woman looked up from the front counter. "Hi, I'm here to—"

"Kendall! Always so nice to see you back here." The woman was already moving around the barrier between them, and before James knew it he was in the middle of a bear hug.

"Uh hi, yeah, nice to see you, too." What had her name been? James should remember this, he'd been called to the office numerous times to wait for his mother to pick him up early for auditions. He didn't recall her being quite this friendly, though.

_No, of course not. You were you, not Kendall Knight. She always seemed a little frosty, like she was judging me for missing so much school. _At a nudge from behind, he lifted his arms to hug her in return.

"I'm sorry it's not better circumstances. Your mom called, I hope your dad makes a swift recovery."

Thinking about Kendall's cavalier attitude regarding his father's well-being, James shrugged and pulled away from the hug. "He'll be fine. Thanks, I'll pass on your uh...well wishes." Was that the right term? James had no idea. He wasn't used to this sort of treatment unless it was in a suck-up kind of manner. "We should get going, so..."

"Katie's here, she just ran to the bathroom. If you'd like, you can have a seat and wait." She gestured to a row of chairs against the wall before turning to Kendall and saying brusquely, "Mr. Diamond. What can I do for you?"

Kendall seemed to notice the change in tone as well. His eyes widened. "Oh, I'm just...with Kendall. I got sick at school and he's taking me home until I feel better."

Her scowl softened. "Aww, of course he is. Such a sweetheart. Katie should be right out."

She turned away, without even a vague "hope you feel better." It really hadn't been James' imagination back then; this woman did not like him.

Kendall dragged him over to the chairs. "Wow," he whispered. "What did you do to piss Hazel off?"

"Nothing!" James hissed. "She's always hated me! I don't know why!"

"That's so weird, she's really nice to me."

"I can see that. Must be nice to be you."

"Oh, please, you don't know anything about me."

"I know that everyone kisses your ass."

"Excuse me, you're the one who—"

"Oh my god. You're James Diamond."

Katie was standing in front of them. James shot up out of the chair, Kendall doing the same next to him. His heart thudded harder as he silently pleaded with Kendall to handle this right.

"I am," Kendall smiled, and it was the perfect one—the fake one James used when meeting people and putting on the "I'm so happy and life is great" act. "You're Katie, right?"

"Uh huh." Katie didn't seem to know whether to look at him or at her brother. Who...was actually _not _her brother.

James took command. "Hey, baby sis. It's a long story. Let's get out of here and we'll talk on the way home." He realized then that he didn't even know where they lived. Could they walk there? Would they need a car?

Hazel had returned to her post behind the counter. She called out, "Tell your mother to let us know if Katie needs to stay home tomorrow. Wishing you kids the best with your father."

"Thanks," James replied automatically. He rested a hand on Katie's shoulder, hoping that was something Kendall might do as he steered her toward the exit. She resisted it and twisted to look back at Kendall.

"I watch your show all the time."

Kendall grinned. "That's what your brother said. I'm glad you like it."

"You get to do some cool stuff. I have a lot of questions."

"Katie, let's get going," James jumped in. "We need to get home."

Kendall nodded as if to agree. "It's okay, I'm going with you. We can talk on the way."

"You're coming home with us?!"

James used a little more force this time to push Katie toward the door. Kendall rushed around them to open it. "Got everything you need? Your homework?"

"Yeah, sure. I got everything."

They'd made it all the way down the front steps before James relaxed, feeling Kendall do the same next to him as Katie walked ahead of them. Good, let _her _lead.

That worked well until they'd reached the corner; apparently they _were _walking home. James hoped it wasn't too far, because Kendall's shoes were old and a hole near his pinky toe was rubbing it wrong.

Katie spun around to walk backwards, gaze narrowed in suspicion as it shifted back and forth between them. "What's going on? Is Dad really worse or is this some sort of early birthday surprise?"

Kendall opened his mouth to answer out of habit. James beat him to it. "No, Dad fell. Mom's at the hospital with him."

The light in Katie's eyes died. "Is he gonna be okay?"

James looked to Kendall for an answer because Katie sounded like she might cry and he had no idea how to handle that.

"Uh, your mom said she'd call when they knew something. Right, Kendall?"

"Y-yeah," James answered. "I don't know any other details right now. Mom just said to get you from school and take you home. But then we have to leave."

"Where are we going?" Katie wanted to know. "To the hospital?"

"No," Kendall replied. "We'll stay at the house with you for a bit. _Your _house. And then Kendall needs to take me home. I'm not feeling well."

"Right," James nodded, remembering the plan now. "He passed out at school so I promised I'd get him home safely. But I had to get you first."

"Oh."

"Don't tell anyone that, though!" James blurted. "He doesn't want anyone to know. Can you keep that to yourself? That James passed out?"

Katie's brows furrowed together. "Sure? James, are you okay now?"

"Much better," Kendall answered. "Just...not a hundred percent. I really need Kendall to come home with me."

"When's Mom getting back?"

James shrugged. "I really don't know, Katie. I'm sure she'll be in touch."

And she probably would, but not on James' phone. She'd call Kendall's phone. Which was in his pocket. _His _phone was in...

_No. He can't see my phone. Shit shit shit he can't see my phone! That's almost as bad as the notebook!_

This was never going to work. The sooner they got their own bodies back, the better.

* * *

Kendall handled Katie's fangirling well on the walk home. He kept his answers just vague enough that she didn't seem suspicious, and since James wasn't freaking out either he thought he was doing okay.

Unless James was like him and kept the freakouts inside. James _had _grown quieter as they walked.

"We're almost there," he said for James' benefit.

Katie lifted a brow. "We know. We live there."

"Right," Kendall chuckled, allowing his face to redden. "I just meant..."

"Wow, you really aren't yourself today. I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks, Katie," James sighed, touched that she would do that for him. "James' image means a lot to him."

"I get it, but he's allowed to be sick once in awhile."

"Try telling his mom that," James murmured.

Katie suddenly reached out for her brother's hand, surprising James. He allowed it and gripped hers. "You okay?"

"I'm scared," she admitted. "What if Dad doesn't come home from the hospital?"

James' breath caught. Wasn't this just a simple fall? Broken bone at the worst? Kendall caught his eye and the warning was clear on his face: _Tell her it'll be fine._

"Katie, it's gonna be okay. I promise. It was just a fall."

"This time, maybe. What about next time? What if this is it? What if the end is coming?"

Now there were actual tears. Panicked, James begged Kendall for help with scared eyes.

"Hey," Kendall soothed, and James had never heard his own voice take that tone before. "Katie. Look at me."

Katie brushed a hand over her eyes before meeting Kendall's gaze.

"I know that we just met and I don't know a lot about what's going on, but I do know that your dad will be okay. We'll wait to hear what the doctors say but don't be scared in the meantime. You're not alone, I'm right here." He took Katie's other hand. "And uh...your brother is, too. We're gonna make sure you're okay."

"I'm not worried about me. I don't want Dad to die."

_Die? _Was Katie like her mother, overreacting whenever someone got hurt? "Katie, he's not gonna die. It's just a...well, we don't know what exactly, but it'll heal."

Katie shook her head. "It won't." Sobs were coming on fast. "This is it, Kendall, I know it. I know it!"

Without warning Kendall dragged Katie to him and lifted her off her feet until her legs were wrapped around his waist and he could hug her tight. It was awkward with both of them wearing backpacks but Kendall managed to rock her in place anyway. To anyone watching it would look like James was doing that.

_Please don't let anyone be watching._

"It's okay," Kendall soothed. "We'll get through this. You'll get through this, and so will your mom and Kendall. You're a family, and families stick together."

Katie broke down further. James didn't know what to do, so he rubbed Katie's shoulder.

"This isn't it," Kendall said softly. "Not yet."

"Promise?"

"I swear. He's gonna come home."

"Fine. Put me down. I'm not a little kid."

Kendall did, bending to one knee to make sure Katie was okay. "You good?"

"Sort of. Mostly freaking out."

"I don't blame you. I'm sure Kendall is freaking out, too." He looked up at James, who nodded.

"For sure."

"It's just not fair, you know? Dad doesn't deserve this."

"I know," James replied, even though he didn't. Maybe their father had been down since retirement. He'd heard that depression set in sometimes once people stopped working. He took Katie's hand again. It seemed to help; she tightened the grip.

Kendall opened a short gate in front of a picture-perfect white two-story house. _Of course. Picket fence and everything. You have the perfect life. I wish I had a sister who would hold my hand. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so alone._

As if reading his mind, Kendall reached out to take his arm and lead him toward the house. James was sure it was only in order to play up the "James doesn't feel good and needs someone to lean on" aspect of their ruse, but for the moment that was okay.

His mother wasn't screaming at him, and he wasn't alone. For now, he'd play along and stay awhile.

* * *

**Author's Note—**So that was chapter three, and the bad news is that I had eight chapters written and then my program crashed and I lost the whole story. What you just read is the last bit I had sent to my editing buddy, so from emails to her I was able to recover at least this much. And I'm sad about it because I feel like this story didn't really start to pick up until they got inside the Knight home and away from everyone else (except Katie, of course). I don't know if I'm going to rewrite what I lost and keep going or not. I felt so discouraged after the crash that I let this idea go for the time being and started on a new story. If I do decide not to continue this one, I'll at least post a chapter explaining what was going to happen so you know how the story ended up. I had it all planned out. :(

I'll post the first chapter of the new story next week. Thanks for reading this (and for those who do, all of my stories) and for encouraging me to keep writing. Without fic I would've lost my mind by now.


End file.
